Journals By Elle

6 streams, 13 hours of live time, and 3.5 months later… so what do I think about streaming? Last November, I decided to dip my toes into streaming and see how it went. Overall, the experience was a mixed bag. First, I want to genuinely thank every single one of my friends who subscribed, followed, liked, or engaged with any of my content. You were the highlight of my streaming experience. Mushy stuff aside, having people engage with me, lift me up, and laugh with me really did make it better. It was genuinely fun going live and seeing my friends, and sometimes even random viewers, pop into chat. However , everything else wasn’t quite as enjoyable. Streaming is incredibly vulnerable. I often felt like I was standing on an open stage, being watched and judged, and that was difficult for me. The constant pressure of being “on” was overwhelming. Having to talk continuously and entertain viewers eventually felt less fun and more draining. This became even more noticeable when my streams shi...

Disability doesn't come with a "how-to" book that guides you through the difficulties you're inevitably going to run into. Before my diagnosis I scrounged through different forms and catalogs trying to understand my symptoms, asking myself, “ Why am I like this ?” until one day, I received it. My diagnosis. C-PTSD. Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I remember seeing the diagnosis on my health chart, " C-PTSD? I don't have PTSD ", I thought. I was wrong.  I was always aware of my symptoms, but the diagnosis forced me to see them clearly. The sensitivity to tone, the fear of abandonment, the volatile reactions, they finally had a name. What began as " I don't have PTSD! " slowly became " Oh...I have PTSD... " After my diagnosis, I was upfront about my needs with others. Compassion & patience . I experience the world differently, and I need the extra care. My disorder means I was going to have difficult moments, but that do...

On Friday, I did my very first stream with some friends. I went live around 7 PM and wrapped up around 9:30 PM, two and a half hours of pure chaos and fun. I started with custom Dead by Daylight matches and ended with a few rounds of Skribbl.io. The whole night felt fantastic. Afterward, I checked my stream analytics… and honestly? I was glowing. Twenty-two people stopped by at some point during the stream, and we peaked at 13 viewers at once. Thirteen people watching me play, laugh, and be silly with my friends? That still doesn’t feel real. In the days leading up to the stream, I worked tirelessly to get everything just right, including sound alerts, overlays, donation pages, and layouts, the whole package! I was anxious, excited, and a little overwhelmed, and then suddenly Friday arrived and the cameras went live. People immediately started pouring in to say hello, wish me luck, and chat. One friend talked about her bridal party, another complimented my gameplay, and someone else st...

In anticipation of the upcoming holiday season, I thought there was no better time to make the first Soundtrack Sunday a winter piece. Today, I’m bringing you the Animal Crossing: New Leaf OST : Snowy Weather Theme , which plays when snow is falling regardless of the hour, and the Hourly Theme (Winter) , which changes slightly depending on the time of day. You’ll often find slowed, reverbed, or remixed versions of these soundtracks on YouTube, such as this one: I think these versions are just as lovely to listen to as the original OST. So, what are these songs? What is their purpose, and why are there so many variations? In Animal Crossing: New Leaf, your in-game time matches real-world time. If it’s 12:00 PM in real life, it’s also 12:00 PM in your town. The individual jingles that change throughout the day represent the passage of time. Each season has slightly different versions of these hourly tracks.  I’ve always loved the music in the Animal Crossing series, New Leaf especia...